A Clothes Call

The last time I had a job interview was about four years ago, for an internal position. It was also about 20 pounds ago. None of my "interview" clothes fit me anymore. So, coupons in hand, I toddled off to Macy's. Big fat waste of time that was - my local one does not sell plus-size skirts or dresses. WTF? "Rip Macy's a new one on their online comments section" has been added to my Things To Do After I Get A Job list.

So next was Lane Bryant. I try to avoid this place as much as possible because I believe they take emotional and financial advantage of the plus-size shopper. And their designers have obviously never seen a fat chick in their lives. Ruffles on the hip part of tops that will emphasize huge thighs? Check! No sleeves on dresses so fat flappy arms can be on view? Why not! And horizontal patterns? Of course. I could design better clothes and I cannot draw a straight line!

But I did end up making some purchases - a black skirt and top, and, wait for it - two dresses! I cannot remember the last time I bought a dress. I hope I don't get buyer's remorse because I still don't know what came over me. Maybe I was mad at Macy's.

And I was treated so nicely by the two sales reps, one made an extra effort to find my sizes and the other gave me a discount that was supposed to be only for casual wear (sweat pants, etc.). Not sure if it was the accent (over which they were both gushing) or if it was sympathy for my unemployment (I made sure to mention it more than once!).

Oh, a pic of the dresses:

The Day After

Kind of in a funky mood, as you can imagine. Didn't even watch Idol last night, that is how discombobulated I am. Have decided I will not be writing about it, not while I am out of work anyway. Sorry if you were looking forward to those postings.

Had some people from work follow up with me, that was nice. Apparently, I was not the only victims, there were 39 other layoffs. Sad, yes, but all I care about is me. I bet all of those people have local family and friends and significant others to commiserate with, so fuck them. (My problems are bigger because they are mine, right?)

What is really frustrating about this is that I completely understand the decision. I was severely under-employed and really should have been let go a while ago. I got most of my work done by 10 most days and then spent the rest of the time trying to look busy. Mainly I surfed the Net (thank the Universe for Reddit), and typed up this blog's posts. Once I even took in some paperwork from home that needed sorting and did it at work!

There was some minor good news, though: I managed to get that upcoming $150 a month bill canceled. However, I now need to go out and get a new laptop for resume updating and job hunting, so that is a wash, I guess.

I also heard from the apartment people; my rent is going up, but "only" by $20 if I sign a lease ($140 if I go month-to-month). So I need to make a decision about that. I have no emotional ties to Las Vegas and would leave in a heartbeat if I had a job and/or a place to stay waiting for me elsewhere. Colorado is a possibility, of course, but the main reason I left - the weather -is still an issue. My dear friend L. is in CA now and staying with her is an option in the future. So signing a 12-month lease is a risk but if I sign a six-month one and then find a job quickly, I risk another rent hike then. I need to make a decision about that soon.

And another thing that pisses me off is that I was had finally decided to grow out my fake hair color to see what my natural color looked like now. So I have this nasty half mousy brown, half fake blonde look going on right now which was fine for work, but looks terrible for interviews.

So that is where I am, one day into unemployment. I don't know how much I will blog. For those of you who believe, please pray for me. For those of you who do not, please send me vibes.

The Cesspool Just Got Deeper...

I guess the rumor mill was right - they were not done with the changes, because I just got laid off. Oh well. More later. Or maybe not.

Welcome to the Cesspool of Negativity

(A shout-out to co-worker, friend, and loyal reader L. who inspired this post’s title – she thinks I can be a little negative at times! (Her nickname for me is “Dark Side”.))

Things are weird right now. Post-holiday/birthday blues is a big factor. But a lot of it has to do with work. Major management shifts going on, new people in (middle-aged white guys, of course), and some people out (but not the ones I would really like to see go, but rumor has it the purge is not done with yet so one can hope this person or this person might be next). No, I take that back. However much I abhor those two people, I would never wish job loss upon anyone.

And then there is uncertainty about my future in my current apartment. The building has new owners and my lease is up for renewal at the end of February. I cannot afford a huge rent hike but neither can I afford to move.

Then I have a new bill being added to my expenditure that is going to be around $150 a month for the next 18 months.

Then, Idol is back tomorrow, so I have to decide if I am going to watch it and if so, if I am going to blog about it. Because if I don’t that will reduce the number of posts but on the other hand if I do blog about it those of you who do not watch Idol are going to be bored. Decisions, decisions.

Then there is the possibility that it could be a Broncos/49ers Superbowl. This would be awful on so many levels. You all know how much I hate the Broncos so of course I would never root for them, but, on the other hand, if the 49ers were to win that would give them the same number of championship rings as my beloved Steelers and that does not work for me. Because however crappy a season the Steelers have (and this one was bad) we can always say we have more Superbowl wins than anyone else. We will not be able to say that if the 49ers win. But if they don’t win, that means the Broncos will… now can you see why I am in such a mess right now?

So, yes, L. is right - I am a little negative. But I hope you all know I would love nothing more than to write about my fabulous dates with Anderson Cooper, or my adventures at art shows and cocktail parties, or the $150 a month that is being added to my bank account instead of being taken out of it or post pictures of delicious meals I had at Strip restaurants instead of mall food court junk food. But those are not part of my life right now, whilst work upheavals and possible rent hikes are. And I have to write about something, right?

A Dietary Low

After buffets, food courts are a food addict’s favorite place. I was in one this weekend and could not decide what to have. The pizza was smelling yummy, but, look, that place sells fries. Mmmmm. Yeah, so this was my lunch:

 

 And I wonder why my arse is the size of Texas.

Was that my last birthday?

Last Thursday was my ??th birthday. ?? is the age at which I have thought, for as long as I can remember, that I would die. Not in a morbid way, really, because I have come to accept it. I am sure it is pretty obvious I have a bit of a death wish and, to quote Keats “I have been half in love with easeful Death”.

Why this particular age? Maybe it is just a thing I picked up during my impressionable teenage years in the dying days of the Cold War, when I started wearing all black, all the time, listening to too much Morrissey and reading too much Keats (oh, so much Keats).

So was it my last birthday? It totally wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world because I had my “portfolio” reviewed recently and the rate at which me and my measly 401(k) are going, I am never going to be able to afford to retire. I should start practicing now: “Welcome to Walmart.”