My last full day in the office was exactly six months ago
tomorrow, on Tuesday, March 17 (yes, I was wearing orange). I started this post
that very night and added to it as time went on. My plan was to publish it the
day before our office re-opening. Well, that date has changed several times,
the most recent being announced just last week. And for the first time since
lockdown, management went from using a definite return date - “We will be
re-opening on July 6”, “Plan to be back August 24” – to adopting a nebulous
time frame of “possibly some time in the new year.” So, because who the eff
knows when I will be back in the office, I decided the six-month mark was as
good as any to publish this.
Six months. It has flown by. And even though I would trade every one of those days off for this horrid situation to not exist, I am not going to lie - I have loved “working” from home - the things I have organized and read and watched and done, wow.
And to think, at the start of all this, I volunteered to stay in the office. WTF was I thinking? It was like this: for about two weeks before we went into lockdown, we were planning to start experimenting with a skeleton staff and revised schedules. Now, because my commute is super short and because my work computer is way faster and bigger than my home one and because I have access to a printer at work and because I hate most of my co-workers and most of them hate me and so being in the office when they are not there is like being on vacation, I told my boss that, unless it was mandatory to not be there, I would stay (plus the brownie points I’d earn from this gesture did not escape my mind). But then all of a sudden – and I cannot emphasis enough how fast this all happened – we were all working from home. Literally, on the Monday morning we had a socially distanced meeting of 50 people (back then you still could) discussing how we were going to handle it all and then by midday the following day, whoomp there it is, we were done, we all had to leave and not come back until we were told to.
But I have gone back in a few times. Mainly when I was going to be in the area anyway, and mostly to do personal stuff, like print out pay slips and address labels. But because I wanted more brownie points, you can bet your bippy that I made sure my co-workers knew I was planning to be in the office. I’d make the announcement in our video meetings or send an email, and I always asked if any of them needed anything done to let me know and I would be happy to help. (Once or twice one of them actually took me up on the offer and I had to extend my time there. Bastards.)
But the majority of my time has been spent “working” from home. And of course, I cannot help but compare this time with my bout of unemployment. The main difference is that, well, I am getting paid, but, for the most part, there were many similarities: I have rarely showered (and in fact broke my unemployment record of four days without a shower by one day); I have rarely left the apartment and then only when I am out of boxed wine (so, yeah, about once a week); the days have sometimes blended into one another (that happened during the unemployment time too); and I’ve gained weight – eight pounds to be exact (my quarantine breakfast of choice of Little Debbie Swiss Rolls and Mountain Dew didn’t help that situation). But because I did not have the added worry of no income coming in, and because the vast majority of my co-workers are in the same position as myself, I have not felt guilty about reading or watching movies and television and doing a myriad projects around the house.
Some of those projects I have been wanting to tackle for years and I got so far on some of them that I know when I do eventually move, I have saved myself a ton of packing time. I got so organized that one time I put an item I no longer had any use for into the Goodwill bag, then took it out a few weeks later because I found a need for it with another project, and then got so organized with that second project that the item went back into the Goodwill pile!
But it has not all been The Price is Right viewing and drinking later than normal hijinks, however: I have at times felt guilty for doing personal stuff but I just remind myself that I am probably not the only one who’s worked on non-work stuff and well, if they wanted me to work eight-hour days they’d make me go back to the office. But on the few times I have been concerned that that might happen, I have reminded my boss that I fall into one of the high-risk categories (high BMI).
And exactly one month into the lockdown, when I went to do my weekly check-ins with friends and some co-workers, I noticed on the call logs and the text lists and the email records that, once again, I was the first person reaching out. So that caused a bit of a breakdown, although I do not know why it surprised me – it didn’t take a pandemic to make me realize that not that many people give a shit about me, or care enough to be the first one to text or email or call. But what surprised me the most is that even those I could rely on to return a call or be the first to send an email have been slow to do so or have not done at all – a sure sign of the severity of this situation and the effect it has had on us all.
And on that very selfish, needy and whiny note, I present to you two sets of selfish, needy and whiny scenarios concerning certain areas of my life that have been affected by this situation. But remember what I wrote earlier – I would trade every one of my days off – and the things on the “good” lists below - for this horrid situation to not exist.
Money
Bad: The money I have spent by doing things I wouldn’t normally
do. My electric bill has gone up because I am at home and running the AC a lot
more (we had a particularly hot spell at the end of August where 112-degree
days were the norm). And the water/money I have saved by not showering as much
has been negated by my running the dishwasher more often because I am eating at
home more, thereby creating more dirty dishes. I also got caught up in the
cooking things I don’t normally cook trap that seemed to befall others. Not
bread (way too much effort) but there was an attempt at a cake and a
particularly intricate curry. But because that was costing too much I turned to the extremely cheap hobby of ice-shaping:
Good: The $1,200 government check, of course (although that went straight into the trip to England and/or a down payment on a condo fund) and the money I have saved by not doing various things anymore. Like getting pedicures: this time last year I had spent $100 more on pedicures. Sammy does not give a shit what my feet look like and he is the only one seeing them right now so what’s the point of getting them all gussied up? I’ve also spent less on laundry because I have not done as much because I have been wearing fewer clothes – there have been days when I haven’t changed out of my sleepwear and there are days when I am in my daywear only because I fell asleep wearing it the night before! And the car insurance discount I got back in April was huge. (I am sure the majority of you could add “saved money on gas” to this list but for me that is a non-issue because my commute is so short, I fill up only about once a month anyway.)
Clothes
Bad:
on the two or three occasions I have ventured into stores that sell clothes I
of course could not try any of them on and because I am such an awkward size, I
can’t take the chance that they will fit.
Good: some items on the “summer” side of my closet had only one more season of wear left in them. Now, because I have not used them, they’re good for next year.
Entertainment
Bad:
There were no Fourth of July fireworks on the Strip. I love fireworks.
Good: Because my cable company was giving out freebies during the start of the lockdown, I caught up live on the last seasons of two pay-cable shows (The Affair and Homeland) that I usually watch on DVD several months after they’ve aired. An aside about the last episode of Homeland: it was the most perfect last episode of any show I have ever watched. It tied up most of the loose ends and ended with some intrigue that, should they decide to bring it back, they’re set, but not so much intrigue that it was frustrating for the viewer. I believe this ep should be mandatory viewing for any writer tasked with creating the final ep of any show from now on (pity it wasn’t around when the last episode of Lost was being written (yes, ten years later and I am still bitter about that!)).
Alcohol
Bad:
I can start drinking earlier. Before, by the time I got home, changed, and fed
Sammy, it was around 5:30 pm before I had my first cocktail. Now because I am
already home, that time has changed to around 5:05 pm.
Good: I can start drinking earlier.
