Idol's Old Enough To Drink Now

 I had not planned on writing much about this season of Idol, but I am at work and bored to death and no one is here, because it is the Friday before a three-day weekend and of course my co-workers are a bunch of P.O.E.T.S. (Pissed Off Early Tomorrow’s Saturday). (That’s a throwback from my brief time in the English newspaper business.) So here goes.

Can’t be arsed to go back and read my old Idol posts but I am pretty sure I have made it known my dislike of any contestant who not only has a sob story but also milks it to (the) death (of their best friend/mother/father/cousin, etc.).

Maybe it is me, but I think it was way worse than normal with Iam Tongi. That James Blunt song didn’t help, of course, but those damn Idol producers have never met a dead person they didn’t like.

But I think even without that issue, I still would have not liked Iam and I really don’t think he was all that good. I thought he was very one-note. And I am going to predict a Justin Guarini-level of success for him, rather than a Carrie Underwood one.

And for the first time in a while, I did have a favorite - Wè Ani. I thought she was amazing. Ironically, though, I think it was her speaking voice that did her in – that squeakiness sure was hard to listen to at times.

And there was some talent among the rest of them, but these stereotypes of the white guys with guitars and hot rock girls and not-so-hot gospel girls and the rough-around-the edges Country guys are getting tiring. At least the prerequisite crazy one (this year that role was filled by the aptly-named Nutsa) had a modicum of talent, unlike many of her predecessors (I am talking about you, Catie Turner).

And of course, I did have my usual “deal breaker” contestant; i.e., the contestant that, should he or she win, would mean that I would never watch Idol again. This year it was Lucy Love. And you should all know me well enough by now to know that my hatred of this person was not based on racist issues. And for once it was not based on lack of talent issues, because she wasn’t that bad. No, it was just her attitude that rubbed me the wrong way, her smirky facial expressions and all that sort of stuff. But she did not win and so of course I will be watching again next year.

And, as always, let me end this on my annual declaration of love for the wonderful and sorely missed Brian Dunkleman.

Last night was the Last of the Last (at Last!)

Yeah, I think you’re gonna need to read this post for the following to make any sense.

So, first off, I have never been ashamed of how much television I watch. Unlike some people who were–and always had a tell (at least they did back in the day when there were only 100 or so channels): at some point in a discussion about television, those who did in fact watch a lot always said something along the lines of the following: “I really don’t watch that much television, mainly the Discovery Channel and the occasional episode of The Simpsons.” It’s like those bible thumpers who, after they have run out of rejoinders to my inquiries about why their all-loving higher power allows children to starve and men to rape and cancer to kill, they always bring up free will. It is their get out of jail free (will) card.

OK, so, yep, I broke my Lost/Revenge pledge–not once, but twice. The first time was with This Is Us (TIU). But, in my defense, I was set up for failure from the start.  The previews all mentioned two of my positive trigger words–fat and twist. I will absolutely be watching anything that has a twist in it and/or features fat people. (My negative trigger word? One mention of vomit and I am outta there.)

So, TIU: oh, how I loved that show. Like I did for Lost and Revenge, I avoided tigers and wooden objects and squirrels in the run-up to the final ep. I considered doing a post about it, but was too emotionally drained by such a wonderful show and kind of embarrassed that I have broken my Lost/Revenge pledge.

So why this post now? Well, yessum, I did it again. This time my partner in crime was A Million Little Things (AMLT). I started to watch this only because it involved suicide and my inner Goth chick (her name is Elsinore – a nod to my paternal grandmother, Elsie, and my love of Hamlet, and one of Google’s top ten results for a search entitled “names for a Goth girl”) has a bit of a suicide obsession. (She does–I do not.)

So, yes, last night was the last episode of AMLT. The avoiding of tigers and wooden objects and squirrels was tamped down a bit because there were no loose ends to tie up, unlike the three previous shows mentioned (only two of which did so satisfactorily and the other not so much (yeah, I am talking about you, Lost). In fact, I think the only concession to it being the last ep was that I did not drink as much as I usually do on a school night (I have already started making up for that tonight (we can’t have Franzia going bankrupt, now can we?)).

But what really makes this noteworthy is that I really think it is the last scripted mainstream broadcast network episodic television show I am going to watch. Because unlike I have done in past years at the start of this TV season I did not pick one new show to watch and am, in fact, down to just two shows I watch on a regular basis: American Idol and one or more from the 90 Day Fiancé franchise.

So, maybe it is time to drop cable and shell out for Netflix or one of its ilk. That way, I can be sucked into an emotional vortex but I can binge all the eps at once and won’t have the need to avoid tigers and wooden objects and squirrels. You read it here.