I started selling stuff
on Craig’s List around the same time my unemployment ran out. Two dressers went
quickly, as did a blender and the Magic Bullet (hey, O., remember schlepping
around Green Valley looking for that? That was a great day.). My beloved Crock
Pot and related recipe books were next to go. I had a lot of trouble getting
rid of a television – no wonder, it was the last boxed kind ever made, it was
huge and heavy and a complete dinosaur (it even had a built-in VHS deck!). I
ended up giving that one away (and even that was hard; I got no takers the first
time I advertised it). I got offers on an iron and my director’s chair but
decided to withdraw those, just in case I ever need to iron anything (although
I haven’t in the five years I’ve owned the thing. Not even sure it works.);
and Sammy took a shine to the chair five minutes after I placed the ad (seriously,
I’ve had it for four years and he has never once glanced in its direction; I get
an offer to buy it and he is all over it). I’ve had no takers for a rice
steamer, electric griddle (brand new, still in the box), or my George Forman
grill. (Going cheap! Make me an offer!)
And this morning, I (kind
of) sold a wok. And it has devastated me. A bloody wok that I never used. After
I (kind of) sold it I came back to the apartment and bawled for about an hour.
Why? It was obviously a metaphor for my current situation, although my reaction could have a lot to do
with the nice gentleman who (kind of) purchased it. He took a look at it and
decided his wife would not like it so he could not buy it. All of a sudden I
was overcome with emotional exhaustion and embarrassment that my situation has
led me to selling crappy kitchen appliances on Craig’s List. So I handed it
back to him and told him he could have it. He thanked me and then reached into
his pocket and gave me a handful of change (“Because you’ve been cool about
this” or something like that). Eighty-five cents; not even enough to upsize a
meal at McDonald’s. But the gesture just devastated me with its sincerity and
kindness.
But now I have a craving for Kung Pao Chicken.
