A four-letter word beginning with F…

What do we all think about those crowdfunding pages, like Go Fund Me? I think if they are set up to help get a business up and running, they are OK, as long as the donor gets a free sample of the product or shares in the company or something along those lines; and maybe for a catastrophic accident resulting in medical costs out the wazoo; even perhaps funeral expenses for an unexpected death (although maybe I would draw the line at that one because no death can really be called unexpected seeing as WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE EVENTUALLY). But for other stuff, like say, for example, medical/living expenses and car repair I think they are ridiculous and nothing better than public begging.

 

And both of those elements – the public part and the begging part – are anathema to me.  Because how embarrassing would it be if you reached only a small percentage (10.6%, for example) of your goal? Or it took forever (like, for example, three months) to get donations? As my high school cohort would say, “Shown to the bone.” And the begging part? Well, that’s just degrading. Even during my darkest days of unemployment when I had sold everything I could on Craig’s List I never thought about doing such a thing. But I guess until you are in a dire situation (and I never was, despite being out of work for over a year) you do not know to what lengths you will go to dig yourself out (and I hope I am never in a position where I would have to consider it). But even so, it’s just… shameful. (I do think a lot of this has to do with my English inborn sense of decorum.)

 

So it was with great interest that I read recently on Facebook about a former… um, I was about to type friend, but I really don’t think I can call her that. Well, maybe she was to me, but I certainly wasn’t to her – I actually didn’t like her all that much and just hung out with her because she didn’t have an issue driving us places. Whatever we had ended badly when I did a not-nice thing.  No need to go into details except to say that there was a boy involved. I admit I was (almost) completely at fault, but here’s why I am (somewhat) unapologetic about the whole situation – because I never liked her in the first place, I did not care that she ended the friendship, and were she a true friend anyway, I would not have done what I did.

 

Where was I? Oh, yeah, so, on a mutual friend’s Facebook feed I read that this former “friend” has set up one of those Go Fund Me pages – for, um, medical/living expenses and car repair. And that she raised $265 of her $2,500 goal in 12 weeks.

 

I was surprised at my completely neutral response. I did not take pleasure in her hardships nor did I feel sympathy for her plight (does that make me a sociopath?). But the news did prompt the following telepathic conversation between the three sides of my personality:

 

Good Triplet (GT): We should make a contribution; the poor thing has fallen on hard times.

 

Evil Twin (ET): Hard times? She has a job and medical insurance. We didn’t have either of those for 18 months and we never begged for money.

 

GT: She is not begging, she has set up a crowdfunding page.

 

Me (MF): Well, technically, it is begging…

 

ET: Plus if we make a contribution, she will think we have been keeping tabs on her and that will just inflate her ego even more than it already is.

 

MF: We have not been keeping tabs on her, we just have a mutual friend who posted a link to the Go Fund Me page…

 

ET: …which we clicked on and read. Don’t you remember that ego of hers?

 

GT: We could make the contribution anonymously.

 

MF: Hell, no. When I part with my money, I want it known it is from me.

 

GT: Then let’s make a contribution and include a note about how sorry we are that our behavior led to the end of the friendship and that we hope this helps and that the Universe does not give us more than we can handle and…

 

ET: Gag!

 

MF: I wonder what happened with her and that guy we fought over?

 

ET: Oh I am sure she gave him the best sex of his life (according to her, anyway). Seriously, do you not remember that ego of hers? Look at this Facebook post where she says that if some guy can make her this gadget she saw on Pinterest, she promises she will give him – and this is a direct quote – “the best free sexual experience” of his life. And she is not an attractive woman so I doubt for most men it would be.

 

GT: Well, no, she is not conventionally attractive, but everyone is beautiful in their own way.

 

MF & ET: Gag!