A Bad Haircut…

… is a sure way of proving that your co-workers certainly believe in that old adage that “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” 

Of course, I prefer the somewhat newer adage of “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me and let’s have a good old gossip.”

This Is Not An Idle Threat About Idol

If Jessica “Stepford Singer” Sanchez wins tonight – you read it here first – I will NEVER watch American Idol again.

Today Is Not My Birthday

But it would be if we could choose when to have our birthdays. Because May is my favorite month. And 23 is my favorite number. Or April 23, because that is William Shakespeare’s birthday. Like most Capricorns, I hate when my birthday is (in my case, January 2): it’s too close to the holidays, people are about to party or have been partying too much, they have already shopped for an Xmas gift and now they have to go back out for a birthday gift, etc., etc. But because of my OCD, I hate it even more. If I have to have a birthday around then, why couldn’t it be January 1, because that is more OCD-friendly than January 2. January 2 is just so… untidy.

So anyway, happy fake birthday to me.

I Read

Someone asked me the other day what I liked to read. I said pretty much anything as long as it is well-written. But I did prefer murder mysteries over, say, romances. Why? Because at my age and looking the way I do, I have a better chance of being murdered than I do of being romanced.

Today...

...I wrote up an obituary for a baby who lived for 18 hours. Then I met this:

And people wonder why I do not believe in god.

MF For Beginners

The following post was the one I wanted to start this blog with, but I got a little excited and posted all those above below I remembered I’d written this one a while ago.

Welcome to my blog. For those of you who don’t know me yet, here is a brief bio of me: I'm female, white, single (oh so very single), I work in an office at a job I like 60% of the time with people I like 40% of the time; to paraphrase ELO, I think I'd die for Bill Shakespeare; as far as I am concerned, neither the Pittsburgh Steelers nor Frank Sinatra nor my cat Sammy can do no wrong; I love to read, and watch movies, and I adore the color lime green; I am inordinately fond of the phrase "What the fuck?" and do not know how I ever got on without it; according to my doctor, I have a drinking problem (I disagree with him); I am a Capricorn; I have a tattoo (of the Capricorn symbol, coincidentally); I am fat; and I am so fucking lonely it hurts.