Of course this is about American Idol

I tried not to watch it, I really did. But there is something about this show... It is my Brokeback Mountain, I just cannot quit it. But I decided early on that I was not going to blog about it, despite a desperate need to write about something, because a quick perusal of previous posts would have resulted in way too many Google searches about it - had I used the contestants’ names! But no, previous posts are rife with nicknames! Apparently, I hated some poor girl with bad hair (Uni-Bang) and there was a terrible male singer who had a stutter (Stuttering Stanley) and – oh, how I am cringing at this -  there was a singer of mixed Chinese and Hispanic heritage who earned the unfortunate moniker of Kung Pao Taco (really, I am not racist, I swear).

Yeah, so, no posts, but I had to do a season-end wrap-up because, well, I don’t know how to quit it:

Luke Bryant – most useless judge EVER. On more than one occasion, when he was third to speak, he said there was nothing he could add because Lionel and Katie had said it all. One time, when he was first to go, he said he wasn’t going to comment because “no one wants to hear my voice after they’ve heard yours.” Gawd.

Even though previous seasons went on way too long, I didn’t really like this pared-down format. I think there could have been a happy medium.

And that results-the-same-night deal? Insulting to both the viewers and the contestants because they are basically admitting what everyone has known all along but chose to ignore - that this is a popularity contest and not a singing competition.

What the hell was the deal with Bobby Bones? Where did he come from and how useless was he? And what is the deal with that name? I feel as though he should be in a Saturday Night Live Halloween-themed sketch with Tom Hanks.

And the producers ought to be ashamed of themselves as far as Catie Turner is concerned. Yes, I am all for quirky chicks who do not fit into the societal norms of physical attraction (I wonder why). And haters don’t hate – you know I do not agree with what society considers physically attractive. But they only put her through (and you know 99% of who goes through is decided by the producers and not the judges) because of the publicity it would garner. No, my biggest peeve with this is the fact that she just wasn’t that good of a singer; had she been, then, yeah, I would be her biggest supporter. But she wasn’t and I think it cruel of the producers to do that to her, to give her hope because, to paraphrase The Shawshank Redemption, hope is a terrible thing, maybe even the worst of things. And had she won, would they have changed the name to Amish Idol?

Like if Adam Sanders/Ada Vox would have won would they have changed the name to Drag Queen Idol?  And what would have happened had they already decided to go with separate boy/girl teams like they have done in the past? Or maybe they did and he/she came along and they scrapped that idea.

And then there is Maddie. Oh, how I loved her from the start. So much so, that I would have been OK with her not winning, because that way she could record what she wants. And even though I did not like Carrie Underwood II Gabby Barrett (despite her being from the ‘burgh) I would have been OK with her winning. Caleb too.  But Maddie, I have not liked a contestant so much since Kelly Clarkson. I hope she has a career and doesn’t fade away like Uni-Bang (well, actually, she might be a huge star right now because I don’t remember her name!).