The Citizenship Chronicles, #21

OK, well, much like the interview, the whole swearing-in process went by in an emotional blur, and I really only remember bits. Like how cool the judge was, how involved and interested he seemed in the whole process. How I got a little emotional at one point during the video-taped message from the President. How I did not say the g-word during the pledge of allegiance.   

But the worst part was having to stand up in front of everybody, the staff, the 64 other applicants and their friends and family, and say my name and country of birth. Now, as most of you know, in one-on-one situations, I am an attention whore, but I hate, just hate, standing out in a crowd, so that was a nightmare for me. And because I was in the first 15 applicants, I had to do it twice, once in a practice run and once for real in front of the judge. The nice thing about being in the top 15, however, is that when we moved into the courtroom, I got to sit in the jury box. Man, those seats are comfy!

The best part was of course the celebration afterwards, at the Hilton with my peeps, L. and her friend D., and O. and her husband G. We hit the buffet and timed it perfectly, the dinnertime perks (free wine and beer) with the lunchtime price and we chatted and laughed and ate and drank (well, me and L. did; the others are lightweights when it comes to the booze).

And now it is all over (well, almost: I have to go and get a new social security card on Thursday). I am feeling a little bereft. I mean, this has been a huge part of my life for the last six months and now it is done. I guess I will just have to find something else to obsess over!

The Citizenship Chronicles, #20

More on the ceremony and the whole day another time, but first wanted to share these pics with you - my co-workers went a little nuts!

The Citizenship Chronicles, #19

Oh my gosh, it’s tomorrow, can you believe it? A date which will live in infamy indeed, because then you’ll be stuck with me, America, the leftie drunkard that I am! People have been asking me if I am excited or nervous and, because of how effed up I am, I am more worked up about finding parking and the partying afterwards than the ceremony itself. I’ve also been telling everyone that I plan to cross my fingers during the swearing to god part because, “You can make me an American but you can’t make me a believer.”

And another weird thing I am looking forward to once it is all over is finally telling my parents about it. Yep, I have not told them. Some of you know about the rather strange relationship I have with my folks (ugh! I am sounding so American already!). I haven’t seen them since December, 1999 and even though we talk every week we don’t communicate much at all. If it wasn’t for the weather, yard sales and Sammy we wouldn’t have much to talk about at all. I try not to worry them (any more than I already do, living several thousand miles away) so I usually tell them stuff after the fact, always starting the conversation off with, “Guess what I did this week?” (Got married, got divorced, got a tattoo, had my gall-bladder removed; you know, little stuff like that.)

The Citizenship Chronicles, #18

Oh my gosh, I cannot get away from my fears of being caught out as a Commie boozer! I was just looking over the final paperwork in preparation for the swearing-in ceremony and look at this:

Will it ever end?!!!

The Citizenship Chronicles, #17

Got the date! December 7!

The Citizenship Chronicles, #16

Still pretty much on an emotional roller-coaster because of the interview yesterday, so here is a collection of random comments on the entire affair:

As I have mentioned before, I have a completely illogical dislike of some things because of other unrelated things (this post explains it better). So, because I never wanted to move to Colorado in the first place (long story), I hate the Broncos. (It makes sense in my warped mind.) Plus they have beaten the Steelers on occasion, so that makes me hate them more (although, by that logic, I should hate pretty much every NFL team, right?). So whenever I see a Broncos t-shirt or bumper sticker or anything like that, I automatically say, “Broncos suck.” It just comes out naturally. So I cannot tell you how proud I am of the restraint I showed when, the first thing I see when I walk into the INS interviewer’s office, is a Broncos mug. I almost blew it all then and there. But I was good (although I did mention I was a Steelers fan at some point).

Questions. I’ve forgotten some of the five (or it could have been six) questions I was asked. That’s not surprising, really, I was quite nervous. The three I definitely remember were, Who is the governor of NV? (Bryan Sandoval); Where is the Statue of Liberty (New York Harbor); and Name two national holidays (Christmas and Thanksgiving). One, the answer was George Washington, but I cannot remember if it was, Who is the father of our country? or, Who was the first president? There might have been one whose answer was the civil rights movement and the other one I think was something about what do you promise to do when you become a citizen. I answered uphold the Constitution and then he asked “Anything else?” I added to serve in the military if needed, but I was thinking, dude, if I am needed to serve in the military, then this country is in one hell of a mess!

When he asked me if I was ready for the test I said I was because “I’m a bit of a history buff.” He then said, “Oh, in that case I will give you the most difficult test.” I have no idea if this is true or not (as I was leaving he repeated that it was the most difficult test and that he actually did not give that one very often) but seriously, from what I remember of the questions, that was the “most difficult” test? What are the easy ones like?

The majority of the interview consisted of the interviewer basically asking the exact same questions that were on the original paperwork. In fact, he had a copy of mine in front of him and was just making large check marks on it as he asked me the questions. I think I may have hesitated slightly and/or blushed when it came to the Communism question because, technically, whilst I have never been a member of the Communist Party, my politics are extremely left-leaning. I am absolutely positive I would have blushed on the habitual drunkard question but that was one of the paperwork questions that was not asked!

More to come if I remember more!