Newbies and those with bad memories might want to read this post (hereinafter referred to as the “First Crush Post”) and this post (hereinafter referred to as the “Second Crush Post”) for this post (hereinafter referred to as, um, “This Post”, I guess) to make any sense.
Yep, it has happened again: through the medium of
television, I am once again crushing hard on a beautiful young man. Yes, the person
who kicked Elvis/Austin out of my reveries has been kicked out by someone even
hotter.
Oh! Now I remember something that has been bothering me.
Not a single one of those (up to this point) 105 readers of the Second Crush
Post reached out to ask who the new subject of my wet dreams was. And I didn’t
realize I hadn’t included his name until a second look-see. I thought the accompanying
pic might give away his identity, but then I realized the clue in the pic was quite
abstruse. (I just learned that word today. I originally described the pic as
obtuse but realized that that did not fit at all. So, I let Word do some
Thesaurusing (a word I just now invented) on the word obtuse and we somehow
ended up with abstruse. And it is kind of funny that this new-to-me word starts
with “abs” because this new-to-me guy has abs for days.).
But, for the sake of my mental wellbeing, I am choosing
to believe the pic wasn’t abstruse at all, and the reason none of the Original 105
reached out is because you all knew immediately who was now inflaming my loins,
and it was not because none of you gave an eff who he was and couldn’t be arsed
to ask me.
And because I did not reveal the identity of the hottie
in the Second Crush Post, I am not going to reveal the identity of this new one.
But, full disclosure, there is a not-at-all abstruse clue in this post that
could lead you to No.2’s identity. And I am not going to get upset if none of
you guess who this new one is because the picture above is the only clue to his
identity and it is uber-abstruse. Or is it? I don’t know now, on a second viewing.
Oy.
Anyway, this new one: suffice it to say he is smoking
hot. And, like my two previous crushes, he is of the age where a Jocasta Complex
is possible (but I’d rather it be Oedipal). But from what I remember of those
myths, there would still be naughty parts touching, whomever initiated it.
I’d just been getting over Crush No.2 when this new guy
popped up. The same windpipe/stomach issues came up immediately. I haven’t yet researched
social media to see if he is active, but I am sure I won’t be able to hold out
much longer. I think he’s single and I suspect he might be gay, but that could
just be wishful thinking on my part (yes, I would rather have all my crushes be
gay because then I know, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t land them (it’s
the men’s prison sitch all over again)).
I don’t need this now. I am still slap-bang in the middle
of my winter blues (but am glad it did not come a few weeks earlier because that
would be slap-bang in both my winter blues AND my birthday blues).
I fucking wish I’d never fucking watched that fucking
show in the first fucking place (Oh! One more than last time!).
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