The Citizenship Chronicles, #11

News, at last! According to the official website, my background check has been completed, and apparently none of you snitched on me about being an habitual drunkard or my way-left political views!! So now I have to wait for the interview/test date!!!

Monet Makes The World Go Around

(Sorry, couldn’t resist. It could have been worse – I was thinking of going with Show Me The Monet.)

   

Anyway, as I have mentioned countless times, my life is, for the most part, pretty darn boring. So much so that I always have to scramble to use up my vacation hours at work before I lose them. So between now and the beginning of November, I have to find things to do to fill up 67 vacation hours! I cut a chunk out last week, and took Thursday and Friday off. Thursday consisted of treating my car to new wiper blades, new sun shades, a new air freshener, a full tank of gas, and a thorough professional interior and exterior clean. Then I had a nap. Friday, because my friend L. volunteered to drive, we headed to the Bellagio to their Monet exhibit (French Impressionism has always been my favorite art genre). I have to say, it was a little on the sparse side and the entrance fee probably worked out to about a dollar a painting. I keep forgetting that you Yanks, even though I adore you, are, for the most part, really easily impressed and there were some works on show that wouldn’t have made it out of their basement storage area in such an exhibit in London or Paris. But they had one of my favorites (Camille Monet and a Child in the Artist's Garden in Argenteuil), and one he did in London, and one I have as Xmas cards and, well, it is just so lovely to be in the presence of such talent and beauty. I can truly understand why people pay so much for such works. Like, I have no clue as to why anyone in their right mind would pay more than fifty bucks for a pair of shoes, but, if I had the dosh, I’d easily drop a few mill on a painting.

Is There A Statute of Limitations On Bragging?

So I decided I should work on the little “About Me” blurb that appears on the left of this blog. But I am at a loss as to what to put there, because, as I have stated many times, I really do have quite a dull life. So then I was thinking I should list some of my past accomplishments (this was actually prompted by my noticing in that political commercial he’s doing right now, Bill Clinton is still referred to as president). I guess with a really important job like that you can keep the title, but what about the little stuff? How long can you brag about something you used to do/be before it is just sad? I mean, I would love for my blurb to read that I am a former size 2 because I was once – when I was two! And is it just me, or is it a little sad and pathetic when people clutch on to their past like that?

   

When I first moved to Vegas I was told that if I survived five summers here, I could consider myself “from” Las Vegas. And I once had a boss who would not provide references for anyone who’d last worked for him longer than five years ago because “people aren’t the same they were five years ago”. Five years seems like a good bragging guideline, don’t you think? Like, you shouldn’t list anything you were formerly (unless it was president) if you haven’t been it for more than five years. OK, in that case, I definitely need to rewrite my blurb!

More Evidence That (If He Existed) God Hates Me (But Loves Irony)

I had a salad for lunch today. Now, those of you who know me know immediately that that piece of information alone is worth a posting. But, no, that is not the news here: the news is that I almost choked to death eating said salad. How effing ironic is that? I have the unhealthiest diet ever and the one time I attempt to eat something healthful, I almost DIE. If he existed, I’d think that was god’s way of telling me to stick to chip butties and vodka.

 

But The English Patient is my second favorite movie of all time! And Casablanca is third! (Brief Encounter is first, but read on and you'll realize that is so very irrelevant for this post)

I’ve mentioned before how much I enjoy reading the audience stats provided by the blog people. I checked them again today and found out I got my first South American reader (welcome, person in Brazil!). That means I now have had someone read my blog on all the world’s continents except one: Africa - you know, that really big continent where The English Patient and Casablanca are set. Why haven’t I broken through there (I’m big in Asia)? Doesn’t Togo like fat chicks? Oh, wait, that is Tonga. What can I do to get a reader there? If any of you know anyone in any of the 50 or so African countries, please forward them a link to this blog, I would love to cross that continent off the list.