Idol Thoughts, 12-10

OK, so I was off on Friday, which is why this report is late and not – as someone suggested - because I am embarrassed because my prediction did not come true. No, Tintin did not go home, but he was in the bottom two and the one that did go home, Big Gay Al, was in my “wouldn’t be surprised” selection. So when they were doing the “25% of the Texas vote” and “You came in fifth”, etc., I was wondering if that was just a desperate ploy for ratings. Then, in a post-results postmortem phone call with O., I found out that that is how The X Factor does its results. So, yep, it was just a ratings stunt. And bringing Charlie back? WTF? Did they not see how he reacted last time? I do not think he will be able to take two rejections. Better have a SWAT team standing by just in case he goes high school/postal.

Idol Thoughts, 12-9

Whilst Uni-Bang is still in the running for my least-liked contestant, the Resident Diva (Amber) is slowly gaining on her, especially after last night when they gave her the pimp position, the last performance of the night. Candice is growing on me, I have to say, and she did a great job but that song is easy to do well, it is so good. It’s like Halleluiah, no one can go wrong singing it. Paul is so pretty, it’s a shame he bats for the other team. I’m thinking Tintin (Devin) is going home, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it was Big Gay Al (Curtis) or Urkel (Bernelle), especially because he looks like he is directing traffic when he sings.

Valerie Harper Is So Lucky

To know what will kill you and when has to be the greatest gift EVER. How differently we’d all live our lives if we knew that. Like if you knew you were going to die in a car accident, you wouldn’t have to worry about high cholesterol. And if you knew when you were going to pop your clogs, you could plan accordingly (like, not go to work the day of, for example).

Idol Thoughts, 12-8

Can’t decide what was the biggest thing on that stage last night, Nicki’s ass, Mariah’s boobs, or Ryan’s ego. I really liked how they did the reveal. I don’t watch any other reality competition shows so I am not sure if they stole that from another show, but I thought it was cool. Not ready to call it just yet, but if this was a gun-to-Sammy’s-head situation I would say Paul, he being the prettiest and most non-threatening; as long as he can dial down the gayness, he could win it all. For the girls, I’d say Janelle, because she has that country sweetheart vibe. Bernell gets my vote for being the contestant most likely to have a secret criminal past, only discovered by the producers when the ratings are slipping. Stuttering Stanley is going to get the sympathy votes, of course; although I have to say, his professionalism last night really impressed me, the way he wanted to make sure the band leader knew about how he was going to sing a certain note, especially considering that was not a performance that was going to be judged. Amber is going to be the show’s resident diva and even though it is early, I think I can easily say that Uni-Bang (Angie) is getting my “I’m never watching Idol again if she wins” vote.

Idol Thoughts, 12-7

Oh my gosh, I finally realized last night that the Idol producers have come up with a sure-fire way of avoiding a cute, straight white guy winning yet again - they did not put any cute, straight white guys into the boys’ top ten! Yes, there are white guys and yes, there are cute guys and yes, there are straight guys but there is not one single cute, straight white guy. Well played, Idol producers, well played. Paul comes closest, of course, and maybe there will be some pre-teens out there who do not pick up on his gayness, because I keep forgetting that not everyone’s gaydar is as finely tuned as mine.

Anyway… last night Charlie totally demonstrated his potential to be the next Adam Lanza. Did you see Ryan trying to comfort him? He was probably hoping there were no easily accessible guns anywhere. And the Tintin doppelgänger has to stop with the Spanish singing – it was cute at first, but it is AMERICAN Idol, not LATINO Idol. Urkel looked like he was directing traffic and I thought Stuttering Stanley did quite a good job.