Why
isn’t The Discovery Channel the most watched channel in the world? Seriously,
ask anyone who is either slightly pretentious and/or is embarrassed by how much
television he or she watches, and you will get the same answer: “Oh, I don’t
watch much TV. Usually just The Discovery Channel.” If everyone who says they
watch The Discovery Channel actually did, its ratings would be sky-high, it
could command Superbowl-level ad rates. And why isn’t The Simpsons the most
watched TV program? Because
these same Discovery Channel-watching people, if they mention a specific TV
show, nine times out of ten it is The Simpsons. It’s like The Discovery Channel
and The Simpsons are the only cool things on. (Just imagine how high The
Discovery Channel’s ratings would be if they ran episodes of The Simpsons.)
I
just don’t get why anyone would be embarrassed by how much television they watch.
I mean, I am not. It is a very noble hobby. Whenever I move, making sure my
cable is hooked up is always my top priority. I easily get through 20 hours or
so a week in the summer, more so in the winter. In the six weeks or so leading
up to Lost’s last episode, I was praying to a god I do not believe in to keep
me alive long enough to see the last episode. I once cut a date short because
he did not own a TV. I have never watched an episode of The Simpsons from start
to finish and I don’t know if I even get The Discovery Channel.
