Elvis Has Left The Building

I think it might behoove you all to read (or re-read) this post for this new post to make sense.

All done? OK, so, yes, I have another actor enflaming my loins. But what makes it weird is that, like the Elvis/Austin sitch, this is another actor playing a famous musician. But in this case, it is the actor who is completely my type and the musician who isn’t.

This actor, oh eff, he is sofa king hot. There is not a thing I would change about him, except perhaps his marital status.

I discovered him last Friday. By Saturday I had re-watched the movie, screened the episode of a TV show he was in yonks ago, and sent a wildly inappropriate email to his bookers. In my defense, I was drunk and I am in love with him and if you don't want fans sending emails telling him to get in touch if he needs to cross off "Do an English chick" from his sexual to-do list then you shouldn't put a link on your website that allows drunk English chicks to send your bookers emails. Just sayin'. Although, also in my defense, I thought the emails were going to go to him or his personal assistant. It was only upon a second, less drunk, visit did I discover those emails go to his bookers. Oops.

I had been meaning to watch this particular film for a while now, and finally got around to it on Friday. And here is a mildly ironic temporal deal about this entire situation: he is going to be in Vegas next month, doing two shows and a fan meet-and-greet. Now those of you who know me well know that there is no way on earth I am going to go to either of those events (this post here explains why). Yeah, it’s Anderson Cooper (before he decided to have kids) all over again. I won’t ever watch that movie again and I lasted less than 24 hours in the several Facebook groups that feature him. It is just too painful, he is just too gorgeous and I can never have him.  And I am sure that all those fans who attend the shows and the meet-and-greet feel exactly the same way about him and I am sure there are some of them who have a chance with him, whereas I couldn’t get laid in a men’s prison. So, I will spare myself the physical and emotional pain and not go.

And I do mean both physical and emotional pain. When I first saw him, I was instantly both besotted and depressed. My depression manifests itself physically with a discomfort in my windpipe and abdomen. Right now, as I am writing this, it feels like a lead pipe is lodged down my throat and a bowling ball is resting in the pit of my stomach. It’s been that way since I showed the first signs of depression, at around the age of 14. But back then I had no idea an emotional disorder such as depression could produce physical ailments. I have since learned that it can.

But apart from his smoking good looks, I have no idea why he has reignited my libido. Even if he wasn’t married, I wouldn’t stand a chance with him. And I have stated many times I want a chauffeur, not a boyfriend. So why now and why him?

I fucking wish I’d never fucking watched that fucking movie.

Year in Review – 2024 Edition

It is almost February, so I guess I had better get this post done. But it will be different from previous YIR posts – and Sammy’s death is, of course, the cause of that. For whatever good or positive or fun things that happened in 2024, it will always be known as the year I lost my dear Sammy.

And I know I owe you an Idol post and my annual Feast of the Virgin check-in, but, yeah, I think we all know they are not happening.

Although I did come very close to not having to write that Virgin post: N. is a maintenance guy at the apartment complex I live in.  And he has a big crush on me. No, really. He sat in my apartment (I asked him to help me move something) and he straight out told me that he wants to date me. Now, on paper, he is my exact type – dark-haired and short (not Jewish or possessed of glasses, tho). And he is such a nice guy but, I don’t know, he just does nothing for me. Now I know some of you might be thinking that it is because he has a menial job. But nothing could be further from the truth (as long as he doesn’t work for the Convicted Felon that is our President, I really don’t care what he does for a living). So I let him down gently and told him I had a boyfriend named Jeremy. I don’t think I have told you about Jeremy: he is five years younger than me, lives with one roommate west of the Strip, works full-time and is going to school part-time. He job entails him to travel a lot which is why I sometimes looked after his cat (because Sammy was not on my lease). And because of his busy schedule we don’t get to see each other much but when we do, it is always at his place which is why none of the complex staff have seen him. What else? Oh, yeah – he is COMPLETELY FUCKING IMAGINARY.

Anyway, back to 2024: once again, I have to do a “I See Dead People” section but thankfully, it is a short list (just one): one of my cousins died (that is four of them now (out of 19)). Ironically enough, once again I found out about this death after the fact and from Facebook (her part of the family was estranged).

Speaking of Facebook, let me check it real quick to see if there were any positive highlights. Enjoy these stats while you wait:

In 2024, I got three pedicures, did not see any movies in a theater, and spent $194.30 at the Post Office.

Nope, if anything super positive happened in 2024, it did not make it to my Facebook page. But, on the other hand, apart from Sammy’s death, nothing too terrible happened. I wish I could say that about the start of 2025. You’ll have to wait for that YIR post, but boy, the start of the year has been a bit of a doozy for me. I will leave you with this photographic evidence:

 

Introducing The Cat-Shaped Hole Chronicles

First off, yes, I know this is the time I usually do my YIR post but 2024 was just a little difficult, what with Sammy dying, and the Cheeto-in-Chief not dying, and, well, 2025 was off to a very rough start (see above). So yes, the YIR post is forthcoming, I am just not sure when.

So, in the meantime, I want to introduce a new feature: posts about what I am doing or what I would like to do to fill the cat-shaped hole Sammy has left in my home, my life, my heart, everywhere.

The title of these posts comes from a friend’s comment on one of the many Facebook entries I made in the dark days immediately following Sammy’s death. I asked for opinions on a variety of things I would like to do or purchase or places I’d like to go (I still don’t remember why I picked Belgium, for fuck’s sake) and a ton of other lunatic ideas. On one of them a friend commented: “That won’t fill the cat-shaped hole.” That gave me all the feels. And ideas for this blog, so watch this space!