In the 1980s there was a very popular game show on British television called 3-2-1. Contestants had a chance to win mystery prizes by solving outrageously cryptic clues. Now some of you unfamiliar with the show might think that "outrageously cryptic" is hyperbole on my part. But no, it really isn’t. For example…
Clue: "They brought a plate, so is it a meal? Dine rhymes with wine. You drink it with a glass, if you drop the glass it will break."
Prize: A skiing holiday in Austria (breaking glass = breaking/skiing).
Clue:
"Cure the fever, stop the rot. No justice here, if this you've got."
Prize: A
fridge freezer (lowering temperature cures fever and stops rot.
"Justice" broken down is "just ice.")
I kid you not.
(And I know three examples are de rigueur and I could provide another but I just can’t with these clues anymore, they are, as they would say in my native England, doin’ me ‘ead in.)
So, in the spirit of what has been described as “one of the most baffling game shows ever made”, I have decided to give you some more hints to the identities of my latest crushes and, whilst they might be as abstruse as the ones in the previous posts, they are better than any 3-2-1 clue.
But I am not going to reveal their identities just yet. Rather, I am going to recap the clues for each of them and add new ones. And then (she wrote sarcastically) I shall wait for the guesses to come pouring in (I wish: the last post had three enquiries and those were all from friends. No stranger wants to know.) and then all will be revealed.
So, let’s examine the clues you’ve already received.
The post for the Fucker Who Blocked Me (formerly known as Middle Guy and now known as TFWBM) was accompanied by a photo of the label of a very famous English adult beverage with the following words on it: Harveys Bristol Dry Medium Dry Sherry. One or a combo of those words make up the title of a song made famous by the singer he played in a biopic. But the biggest clue to this man’s identity was the title of the blog about the newbie: Frankie Has Left the Building.
And the clues for the new guy were, well, rather sparse – just a mention of his abs (which I want to lick) and the pic of two penguins touching (kissing?) beaks. I think that gives it all away, especially when you know that I once lived in Pittsburgh, a city famous for its very successful sports teams, one of which, the Pittsburgh Penguins, is a five-time winner of the Stanley Cup (the Avs have won only three). Oh! Just remembered - I have seen the Stanley Cup in person. Now, at this point, any normal person would include a pic of them with the Stanley Cup to prove this, but I hate how I look in that pic (I hate how I look in every pic, actually). But I am going to break all my rules of sharing pics of me, because this was a highlight of my life, so here goes:
(Tee-hee.)
Oh, flip. All that research I
did on 3-2-1 has gotten to me: I feel a clue coming on – a clue that would not
be out of place on that show…
Those kissing Sphenisciformes would be happy drinking ginger beer served to them by Superman.
This will be broken down in the post that finally reveals the men.
So on to the new clues. And, as mentioned previously, they are not as perplexing as 3-2-1’s clues but they are, once again, abstruse. And to make it harder (that’s what she said) I am not going to tell you which refers to what guy and one set in fact refers to neither of them, just a random guy whom I have actually met and have been crushing on for yonks.
Alrighty peeps, let’s see if you can figure out our mystery guests:
One’s mother died when he was two years old, and one of them has a Chinese father and the other has a Korean mother, and two of them have British blood.
One was a presenter on the recent Golden Globes (how I discovered him, in fact).
One graduated from Creighton University and one has won a Tony and a Grammy, and one recently made his runway debut at Milan Fashion Week.
One’s astrological sign is Aquarius and another’s is Cancer (I don’t know the third one because I do not know his birthdate, but he strikes me as a Gemini).
And they all have black hair (which comes as no surprise to those who know me).
Over to you, armchair detectives...
