Once… Twice… Three Times a Loser

Yep, new new job is done. They let me go this afternoon. Said I was not “picking it up quickly enough.” Which confirms my suspicions that I am too old to learn new stuff. I really did try, this time. I mean, with the first new job I can understand why they let me go, but not with this one. I was learning more every day but I guess my pace was “too slow for their business model” (that phase was bandied about in the exit interview) (gag). But whilst I am devastated I have once again lost a job (that is three in 12-and-a-half months) I really am not devastated I lost this job. Because that commute was a bitch and there was some intense favoritism going on there (to those who have the same last name as the owners, if you know what I mean) and it was way too sales-oriented (I told them at my interview I could not sell a cup of water to a man dying of thirst).

So what now? Well, first off, I am not plugging this post on Facebook. And I will not send a link to some friends like I usually do. I am not telling anyone yet (well, I told one person so far but only because I hope he is sympathetic enough to want to fuck me. Kind of hard (ha!) though considering he lives in California, and has a wife and all). I am going to lay low this weekend (by that I mean drink myself into a stupor) and I shall not be answering my phone (should it ring) or reply to any texts or emails. Right now I cannot think beyond this booze-filled weekend.

What a loser I am.

My New New Job, Three Weeks And One Day

Phew! I have survived longer at this job than my last one!! Yeah, only by a quarter of a day but still. Who knows for how much longer, though, because well, as it stands right now, I do not think there will be enough work for me. It could be that it is just a quiet sales period for the industry (something to do with selling electronic components - I haven’t yet got a good grasp on what it is they do exactly. But if you think that is bad, I still can’t quite remember the company’s name because it is really similar to a previous company I worked for (well, similar in the sense that both names begin with C), plus they have a subsidiary (that one buys the components (I think)), so I just keep referring to the business card I have stuck on my computer (I say it is there because I haven’t memorized the fax number or the address yet – can’t really tell them the real reason, right?!).)

Anyway, I know this is a terrible attitude to have, what with the year I just had, but frankly, should they chose not to continue my employment, I would not be that devastated. Because the commute is bad. Well, me-bad. For the average American it is probably, well, average. Plus the learning curve is pretty steep. Either that or I am just too old to be learning new stuff.

One positive is that I have been eating healthier because of it. There are no vending machines in the building and it is located in the middle of nowhere, with nothing nearby. Well, there is a 7-eleven, but it would require making a left turn to get to it, so that’s not feasible. So I eat only what I take with me and I have been taking only relatively healthy stuff like almonds and pineapple and grapes and protein bars and Lean Cuisines.

On, and sexy bicep tattoo guy just keeps getting hotter. He is really nice (bastard) but he can be a bit moody which makes him even hotter. I think his SO is older than him, too, so maybe he likes older women. Now, if only he liked fat ones too, and wasn’t fussy about cheating, then I’d be set.

My New New Job, Day 1

I don’t hate it, but… meh. After almost a year of no other job offers I cannot afford to be picky. I just have to suck it up. I did find out sexy bicep tattoo guy has a significant other and kids. Or dogs. Or even cats. (He referred to them in a species-neutral way.)

Year in Review - 2014 Edition

For reasons unbeknownst to me, my first Year in Review post (2012 edition) continues to be the most read of this blog. This put an enormous amount of pressure on the shoulders of the 2013 YIR post. Unfortunately, it could not match the numbers of its predecessor (not even close – 768 views compared to 16). So had 2014 been a “normal” year I would have striven to make its YIR entry stand out. But that was not destined to be, for whilst the first 14 days were OK, and the last nine proved to be quite nice, the rest of 2014 was quite sucky. So, to the majority of 2014, I have just one thing to say: Go fuck yourself.

Is today my last day on Earth?

Tomorrow is my ??th birthday. Which means today is my last day of being ?? years old. As this post explains, I have long believed I would not live much past ??. Because I have been preoccupied with other things this past year, I had forgotten that this might be the year I die. But had I not been watching The Price is Right job-hunting, would this past year have been lived differently? Not really, I suppose. I mean, if I knew for certain I was going to die, I would have tried to fit in visits to various places (England, New Zealand, Denver, Pittsburgh, etc.), but that would be impossible anyway, because of Sammy and money issues. Oh, I just thought of something: maybe that is why the Universe conspired to keep me out of work for such a long time – to take my mind off my imminent death. Ironically, I would have been out of work for some of the year anyway, if I could guarantee my death, because no effing way am I working if I do not need to and if I am going to be dead then I would not need to work.  

So, with no plans to drive today (no plans to even get dressed, still in my nightwear (Superbowl XL t-shirt)), the probable way I am going to die is eliminated. There is still the chance of the heart attack (the second probable cause of my death). There is nothing I can do about that today (although starting Monday I am going to try (I even bought almonds from Trader Joe’s)).

But wait, when I have thought about it, I have always used the disclaimer “not much past.” So maybe I will live to see my ??th birthday tomorrow, but will die later (well, yeah, that is kind of guaranteed). So then this raises the issue of how much time is “not much past”. A week, three months, two years? I think my OCD would dictate that “not much” to mean I would still be closer to ?? than ??. And so any time before my half birthday (July 3) falls into the “not much past” timeframe. So, yeah, OK, I will give up on my belief of dying “not much past age ??” if I am still alive on the 4th of July this year.