It’s A Halloween Miracle!

Might As Well Know Now Life Sucks

Saw a TV commercial the other day for Dove soap and it was going on about how young girls give up playing sports because of body image issues and how Dove wants to boost self-esteem. The first thought I had was, why bother? Those girls obviously have learned earlier than most what we all learn eventually: yes, how you look is important, perhaps the most important thing ever. Why try to boost their self-esteem when it is only going to be temporary? For ultimately the shallow world they live in is going to knock it down. They might as well give up on sports now because eventually they will have to give up on hopes of better paying jobs and deals on getting their car fixed and having drinks bought for them in bars and the myriad other things looking good affords the good-looking.  Self-esteem only gets you so far; looks get you everywhere, and everything. If we must do something positive for these girls, perhaps we should celebrate them for being so self-aware so early on and stop mollycoddling them and confirm that, yes, what they know, deep down in their heart of hearts, is true - how you look does matter.

The Circle of Life

I eat because I am sad…

I am sad because I am alone…

I am alone because I am fat…

I am fat because I eat…

To Tell The Tooth

That my life revolves around food should come as no surprise to anyone, least of all me. Imagine my surprise then, when all the plans I’d made for a couple days’ vacation were scuppered by a visit to the dentist. I hadn’t been in a while (laziness, cheapness and my really intense gag reflex are my main excuses). And I called the morning of my first vacation day, not expecting to get an appointment. A deep cleaning, several fillings and $200 later, I staggered out knowing that my planned Five Guys take-out dinner, breakfast at the diner near the library where I had books to pick up, and the buffet at the casino after a few rounds of Blackjack were not going to happen. Instead it was soup and vodka and some honking great big doses of prescription ibuprofen. Plus some mouthwash. I do wonder, however, how I am going to be able to spend two weeks spitting: